Most often, you would hear ‘to forgive someone and forget is divine’ but the fact remains that unless you walk the forgive path, you will never be able to know how uneasy it is. You need to forgive someone for what they do to you in other to be healthy, happy, free and ready to grow. Bitter grudges and wounds are consuming; they suck the energy out of the life of the beholder. To forgive someone, though tough as it might be, actually creates space for growth and creativity.
An essential part of life is the relationships one has; the most hurtful things are the ones done by loved ones. Human beings as emotional and affectionate beings are prone to pains, hurts, and wounds. Hence, the level of emotions and affections invested in any relationship will determine the degree of pains and hurts impact. This neither absolves the infidelity/betrayer/offender nor trivializes the hurts and pains impacted on the offended. It calls for the awareness of the need or how to forgive someone when hurt.
There are no special seasons to forgive someone who hurt us; we need to forgive someone whenever there is the need for. However, towards the end of the year when personal resolutions are made for the year ahead, It is important to enter the next year with a mind, body and soul devoid of grudges, hurt and pain. To forgive someone may need for parties involved to sit in therapy season. Do use appropriately licensed counselor like the marriage and family Therapist to confront the darker issues.
7 Precise Steps On How To Forgive Someone
Forgive Yourself First
Forgiving yourself first is the first thing to do towards the healing process. How to forgive yourself is easier when you accept the fact that you allowed the other person to inflict or offend you. Also, forgive yourself for holding yourself to very high standard in the relationship.
Let Go Of Ego And Pride
When you are too self-conceited, you will always justify your need to get back at the betrayer. You will look at payback time and thus perpetrate grudge /feud/unhealthy rivalry. You will never see the reason why to forgive someone is divine because, for you, it’s how dare the betrayer scorn you.
Take Back The Power
Some offenders are given the power to wreak havoc in your life by you, while others offenders assume the power. How to forgive someone is to retrieve the assumed/given power by being immune to their antics or actions. Taking power back from a vulnerable space is not easy but I assure you that there is strength in forgiveness.
Accept People The Way They Are
Out of love, good wishes and expectations, some people are pushed beyond their capacity. Nobody can give what he or she doesn’t have. Learn to love and accept people on their capacity level, don’t judge or criticize. In this way, you will be able to get along and feel little or no impact on any deviations.
Hold No Grudges
There are situations where the offender isn’t aware of the offense. Any grudge bearer would have done a disservice to his/herself – intellect, time and health. The burden of not forgiving is unimaginable! It suffocates and causes personal deterioration of life around. So, to forgive someone means essentially to forgive yourself.
Step Out And Let It Go
When you have forgiven yourself and accepted people in your relationships the way they are, then, you should let go of any remnant of negative feeling towards the betrayer.
Be Positively Alive And Present
Depending on the level of impact of the hurt, don’t carry an old grudge from one situation to the other. It is possible for fear from issues in the previous relationship to creep into the present. Your work will be to push fear out of your mind and window. Let the freshness of a new or resolved relationship flow around.
You should take these steps to forgive someone completely. Forgiving completely means burying the hatchet without having the handle still out ready to strike at the first provocation. It equally means you should be cautious when dealing with previous offender /betrayers in other to abate the degree of any impact.