It’s important to forget ex-boyfriends because they don’t belong in the future. Any break up with an ex-boyfriend that you have spent time, energy and have come to appreciate is very difficult. You will have questions, anger, and fear as your self-confidence is eroded by the separation. You may feel that history might repeat itself with your date. You feel inferior and inadequate to be in a relationship with your superior gorgeous date. You should relax and let your fears about your ex-boyfriend go.
A comparison is good when there is a choice to be made; you check your wish list (standard) against your first date. However, it’s unacceptable to check your date against your ex-boyfriend; your ex-boyfriend is not your standard. I say it with due respect. You do a disservice to yourself and the relationship; your ex-has moved on plus you kill the new relationship before it took off. You are on a date with someone who thinks you are ‘Glam and Gorge’ hence you are in a relationship now.
Here are critical steps necessary for you to rid yourself of your previous relationship ghost.
8 Steps On How You Can Stop Ex-Boyfriend Vs Date Comparison
Analyze The Part You Played In The Break-Up
Yes, to every action, there is a reaction. How and what was your contribution to the break-up? Where did the issue start from? Have you realized that each thought comes with so much bitterness and anger? Do you want to go back if given the chance? Then why won’t you rid yourself of all ex-boyfriend mental image?
Take Time To Heal Of Your Ex-Boyfriend
Don’t rush into new relationships straightaway after the break-up just to stop stigmatic societal pressure on a single and depressed single. You make similar or worse mistake of your life by doing so; give yourself time to properly heal from an ex-boyfriend. It may take a week or several months; take it and rid yourself of physically, emotionally and mentally attachment.
Destroy All Ex-Boyfriend Memorabilia
Get rid of any contact with your previous relationship mentally and physically, this will ensure that your emotions will not stray towards your ex. No matter how expensive or precious the stone/ piece of jewelry received from an ex-boyfriend is, just stop wearing it. Wearing it (them) prolongs your mental agony and trust me, it’s not worth it.
Don’t Conclude From Just A Whiff
When you want to start dating again, don’t turn away every Tom that looked or acted similarly to Dick. Don’t go like oh I have had this with my ex (name) and am not going to start with you (date). Give yourself another chance at love and commitment by opening your heart even if it’s at the risk of being hurt again. Give room for benefit of the doubt more especially when it is not your first relationship.
Freeze Out Your Ex Boyfriend
Stop all communications with your ex-boyfriend. Don’t keep in touch with your him because if you don’t, it will make it more difficult to stop the comparison. Yes, you may become friends with your ex-boyfriend after you are in a secured and committed relationship. You may even introduce him to your date someday.
Live And Focus On The Present
Most times, a better person in your date will be sitting before you but you are busing pining for your ex-boyfriend. You unintentionally invite dark and gloomy ambiance around you and soon enough, either you or your date will be fed up and seek the end of the relationship.
Exercise Mind, Body And Practice Deep Breathing
Work on yourself by clearing and removing all the clogs to the wheel of your dating. When negative thoughts of comparison rush in, take a deep breath and it will clear such thoughts. Work physically on your physic; rid yourself of negative energy associated with comparing your ex-boyfriend with your date.
Be Realistic With Your Wish List
Know that nobody has perfect score 10 on attributes so don’t expect your date to have more attributes on your wish list than did your ex-boyfriend. This is because everybody is unique; so your date may be an inch shorter than your ex-boyfriend but more gentlemanly than your ex-boyfriend. What about you? You are neither perfect nor an angel so give and take as much as you get or even more than.
The heart will do what it wants, either way, you should physically make the effort to stop the mental torture of comparing your date to an unattainable ex and accept the love and commitment offer placed before you when the time is ripe.